Exploring Bias Worksheet
The recent murders of Ahmaud Arbrey, Breonna Taylor, and especially George Floyd have brought a bright spotlight onto the Black Lives Matter movement and a watershed moment for our country.
I have received countless messages via Instagram, entirely from young white women, about not knowing where to start making changes. I am NO EXPERT on this and am learning along side you. But I did attend a diversity and inclusion conference a few years ago (I paid thousands of dollars to do this because I was interested in bettering myself and wanted to be a resource for others – but if your company you work for is interested in sending you, they will often cover the costs, especially if you work in HR! you can find more info on it here).
It actually made me realize I had WAY MORE WORK TO DO than I had previously thought. But don’t let that intimidate you, because we also learned how to make a start combating our own bias. So based off what I learned, both from the conference and from the past two weeks on social, I created a worksheet for myself. And I wanted to share it with you guys in case it helps you make a start!
Each week, I plan to watch one movie, read some of my book (finishing one book per month), and listen to 3 podcast episodes on the topic of race. The worksheet will help you keep track of not only what you HAVE DONE, but how you’re feeling, what you’re learning, and ideas of actions you can take or behaviors you can change to make the world a better and safer place for black people. I also HIGHLY recommend selecting a buddy YOU TRUST and reviewing your sheets with them either weekly or once a month. I plan to complete my weekly sheets with my husband (we are SUPER focused on getting our household as inclusive as it can be before bringing a baby into it – you have to practice what you preach and that starts at home!!!) and then reviewing them monthly with my sister.
Some other helpful guidelines I learned from the conference were:
- Mix up your content you’re consuming on race to avoid burnout – learn the HISTORY and present day issues. Try fiction, biographies, AND documentaries. Just make sure you’re consuming content CREATED BY BLACK PEOPLE. Not some white person’s interpretation of black experiences.
- Progress over perfection. Doing a little each week for years is better than trying to learn everything overnight and burning yourself out.
- This SHOULD feel sad, uncomfortable, and hard…. You’re looking at yourself and admitting you may have been ignorant or even made someone’s life harder! That’s not easy. It should feel HARD. Do it anyway. It will change the world for the better!!
- We all have something to learn…. This is a lifelong journey.
I put these guidelines at the bottom of the worksheet as reminders. If you have any ideas of what I am add or change here – LET ME KNOW! I am ALWAYS open to feedback and hope this helps some of you make a start that I know you are gearing up for. We can do this together!
Here are some ideas of films, books, and podcasts from a fellow blogger, Brenna Anastasia (here is her INSTAGRAM and YOUTUBE):
BOOKS:
FILM/TV:
PODCASTS:
Click link below to download the worksheet and save it to your computer/ print it out to get started!
Getting Your Dream Lawn
Here are Deven and my lawn care instructions. Do’s + don’ts. We pretty much had a mudpit with dried grass in the center when we moved it. And their strange circular structure too. We had to completely revive our lawn and I have to say, it was a really rewarding project! So here is our guidance, based on what we learned from working really hard to completely revitalize pretty big back lawn.
Sprinkler System
Before you even start, you MUST have a way to water the grass, otherwise it won’t matter what a great job you do putting it down. All your efforts will be wasted if you can’t adequately water new grass. So set this up ahead of time. I really recommend when you’re looking at houses, to seek out ones with a sprinkler system already installed. If not, consider working one into your budget. If you’re on a DIY budget, the little ones you hook up to a hose do the trick too! Just get them set up on DAY ONE and be ready to water twice a day in the first few weeks.
Seed vs. Sod
I have a pretty strong inclination towards seed. This is because, my mom had sod professionally laid at her house and it didn’t take at all. My dad, was advised by a landscape architect to always use seed because sod needs replacing every few years as it doesn’t root as deeply. Seeds are grass’s natural way of doing things. Always go natural! Also – seed are cheaper, so if it doesn’t take, who cares! Much less at stake than going for sod and hoping for the best.
When to seed
You want to shoot for temps of 50s-60s. In different regions, that will be different exact times of the year. You want to avoid freezes. But typically, seeding in the fall + spring should be a yearly routine. If you get your lawn thick and gorgeous one season, there will be less and less work each year but plan to throw at least a little seed each Spring/ Fall. Do NOT throw seed in Summer/Winter unless you really think it will be within those temps… It won’t thrive and would be a waste of time/effort!
Pick the right TYPE of seed
Do your research. But I am always a big fan of asking a pro at the hardware store – they’re passionate about what they do and you can talk specifics about your lawn. Bring in pictures of your outdoor space and any problem areas and they typically love to help you troubleshoot.
You’ll want to obviously consider environmental elements (weather, shade/sun, dampness etc.) but also lifestyle. Do you have kids or pets that will run around on it? If so, you may want something more hardy that can stand up against little feet! The fancy option is not always the best option. You want to get your lawn GREEN and full – that’s the goal, not having the fanciest TYPE of grass ya know? It will look good no matter what if it’s thick and green. You want the type that will grow for YOU.
We went with Fescue because we have a LOT of shade and pretty damp conditions. That said, we had an arborist come out who told us we’d NEVER be able to grow grass up near the borders of our lawn but we did…. So the experts can be wrong! But you have to have determination to make it happen.
Supplies you need:
- Gardening gloves
- Sprinklers of some sort
- Aerators of some sort
- Seed + fertilizer combo (we recommend Scott’s Turf Builder but be sure to get the right type of grass for you AND the right amount for your size yard)
- Peat moss
*Amounts will vary, go based on the package and air on the side of having too much.
HOW TO SEED YOUR LAWN:
Step one, go ahead and water your lawn. This ensures the seeds will go into a nice damp setting immediately and give them the best chance.
2. Aerate
Sounds like a big/fancy word! It’s not a big/fancy concept. It’s poking holes in the dirt. There’s a ton of ways to do this. I prefer a tool that resembles a rake but had a wheel on the front that you roll over the ground to stab the holes. Deven prefers these shoes that have spikes on the bottom. I find they’re kind of hard to walk in (picking your legs up is hard work with these!). But either way, getting the holes poked allll over the lawn is the goal. However you want to do that is fine!
You’ll want to get a combo of seed and fertilizer. It just saves time because instead of throwing two things, you just throw one. You just pay for one thing. You also decrease the room for error because you risk missing a spot with the fertilizer if you throw them separately. You can watch a ton of videos online about how to throw seed, but any way that they get scattered evenly works! Go slow and you’ll get the hang of it!
This is more of an insurance. It kind of insulates the seeds AND holds them in place in case you get a heavy rain early on – they won’t get washed away because the peat moss will kind of damp them down. You do not need a ton of this, just a light layer. But we felt it really helped them take!
5. Water water water (and keep off!)
For the next 5 weeks, plan to water in the morning and evening for 5 minutes each time. Stay off the grass no matter what. This is absolutely ESSENTIAL to the lawn thriving.
I would recommend trying to get your grass to a healthy, good place first and then using a weed killer rather than the other way around because you don’t want to kill off all the weeds and then for some reason be delayed in seeding your lawn and end up with a big mud pit! At least the weeds make it look greener, so might as well leave em while you get to work on the lawn and then get rid of them later when your grass is strong/healthy. This is what we did and it worked great!
And that’s it! If you have any questions, I would be happy to answer them.
HERE are all the products I recommend for gardening in general and below are the items discussed in this post!
Let’s Change Your Oil
Who here knows how to change their own oil?!
Do you even know how to check and see if your oil needs to be changed?
I’m gonna be honest, I would always wait for a little light to come on and notify me something needed fixing. Then, I would take it to someone, dish out a few hundred dollars and be without my car for the day. I’ve definitely been ripped off in this department, due to my ignorance on the topic! So when Shell reached out to work with me on this campaign, I knew it made a TON of sense for me and for YOU. I took the time to educate myself, so I can educate all of you too!
Additionally, Shell Rotella specifically is designed for cars heading into….. rough and tumble situations? For lack of a better term. You ALL know Deven, my family, and I go out to a ranch at least once a year for fly fishing and make a ton of smaller fishing trips throughout the year (you can read more about my love of fishing HERE). Well, ANNOUNCEMENT! Our family bought a property in Arkansas on the White River to fly fish much more often. We are building a “compound” where guests can come and join us for a little retreat from the city life. Shell Rotella oil is PERFECT for this type of travel so our truck is now ready to off-road to the family “compound!”
ANYHOO – I am going to break down the basics for you of changing your oil so you’re PREPARED with some Shell Rotella next time your oil needs changing.
To begin today’s lesson, here’s some background:
WHAT DOES THE OIL YOU’RE CHANGING ACTUALLY DO!?
The oil in your car, makes sure that the various metal parts in the engine, do not rub together and cause friction, damage, or even sparks. All these things could lead to way bigger issues for your vehicle. Shell Rotella oil provides maximum protection for your car and out-performs conventional motor oil in severe driving conditions. It also keeps the engine of your car clean and prevents sludge and other types of damaging build up.
HOW CAN YOU CHECK YOUR OIL?
Two ways!
- If you really want to be sure, and handle like the #INDEPENDENTWOMAN you are, you pull out the dipstick. You can find it in your engine and it will either have oil between dots at the end, or it won’t! Pretty simple. It needs that oil, again, to basically moisten the joints of the vehicle.
- You can also keep a rule of thumb, 5 months or 5,000 miles – when those indicators have been met, you should definitely check your oil yourself or get it checked by a professional!
Additionally, Shell Rotella oil is actually on ROLLBACK right now guys. So I recommend grabbing a jug so that you have it on hand when the time comes that you check your oil and its low.
It always seems intimidating to check on anything to do with your car, but changing your oil is ONLY complicated because you need access to the underbelly of your car to really clean it out properly. That’s the ONLY reason its tough to do it yourself. But you can CHECK it yourself and that part truly is a piece of cake.
In order to help give you a brand name to recognize and feel good about, I wanted to share some more info about Shell’s environmental efforts. In the past few years, Shell has upped its game in terms of off-setting its effect on the climate. They have efforts in terms of transitioning into cleaner energy, as well as improving air quality, fresh water, plastic waste, and biodiversity. I’m super into it. Here’s where you can find more info about that if you’re interested (https://www.shell.com/sustainability/environment.html)!
I invite you guys to check it out for yourselves and let me know – what oil do you use in YOUR car!?
Our Rebrand Story
I filed my first trademark when I was 22. Back when I was a recent graduate living in New York City. I wanted to start a magazine because I didn’t see myself reflected on the newsstands. What I wanted was those juicy Hollywood gossip stories, health/fitness, beauty, and yes especially politics/ current global issues all in one publication. But I had to buy like five different magazines to make all that happen while I knew men had publications like Esquire & GQ that respected both their intellectual curiosity and want for entertainment.
I’ve always had this dream of helping to keep people accountable – our leaders, the press, etc. because I had a dad that made damn sure we were informed while I was growing up. Even today he fills our inboxes with important news, cooking ideas, and fashion tips alike. He’s always been cautious about reliability in his news. My mom and three loving aunts care deeply about being politically and socially active. I’ve had the greatest role models. And yet I wasn’t out in the world for very long before realizing that most women in the heartland aren’t afforded this type of exposure to politics/community activism. I found that many were looking for a reliable source of news that spoke their language and didn’t make them feel intimidated or like they needed to know everything about each issue to be involved.
I honestly believe that intimidation tactics are pervasive and socially engrained in men in this country (not all of them, but most) and that intimidation makes women feel like they can’t speak up for fear that they’ll be verbally put down and attacked. While I’ve had a male role model who encouraged me to always speak up, raise my hand, and be heard, many women have only experienced the opposite: ridicule and condescension. So I wanted to create a safe space for women to say, “I will never know EVERYTHING about this topic, but here’s my thought on the matter.” We don’t learn or grow when we’re not discussing, when we don’t speak our minds, when we hold back.
The name “Sugarfree” came to me when I was frustrated that women in the heartland so often feel they have to be “nice” and “sweet” in order to be heard/ accepted/ palatable. Without a big smile and passive wording, you’re a bitch or a chest beater. On the contrary, I have found that women here are INCREDIBLY strong and do not need to be handled with kid gloves or provided with a “sugarcoating” all over the serious news we see every day. So on this new platform, we are committing to give it to you straight up, no side of sugar.
The truth is, each and every one of us has a vote in this country. All our opinions are weighed equally at the ballot box whether you’re a seasoned politician or a housewife raising 4 kids. I wanted to see more women use that voice.
When registering voters, women in Oklahoma made it clear to me they didn’t plan to vote until they understood what they were voting on. God bless them, they deserve a medal, because I can assure you no man has ever said that to me. But where did I want to send them to get more info? I didn’t see something I admired so I decided to build it myself. And here we are. 6 years in the making and I’m still building my dream publication. My dad always said, “we make our own luck.” Don’t see what you want? Make it yourself. I’ve tried to live that out and in a few weeks, my personal blog will take a big step towards being an official publication. I hope you will come along for the ride and catch us over on www.sugarfreemedia.co from now on!
Onward & upward!
X, Antigone
A Quick Historical Rundown of Equal Pay
Hey dolls!
Today is Equal Pay Day in the U.S. so I wanted to pay (pun intended) a special tribute to this significant piece of legislature.
WHAT’S THE HISTORY & WHAT IS THE LAW?
The original equal pay bill was created in 1870 to protect women working specifically in government jobs. BUT the bill got pretty watered down in the Senate and never really got enforced, even once it became law.
But The Equal Pay Act we talk about today was signed into law by President Kennedy in 1963 as an amendment to the Fair Labor Standards Act. The law simply states that men and women will be paid the same amount for the same work. It’s that simple.
The bill, of course, specifies that the job must “require the same skills and responsibilities” in the same establishment. This piece of law was one of the first in American history to combat gender discrimination in the workplace. WWII actually helped bring about this change in that there was an increase in available jobs but a decrease in men to fill them. So, when women stepped in, it became important to Unions to defend their rights.
WHY DO WE CELEBRATE IT?
Because the gender pay gap STILL exists, despite the fact that its illegal.
Women across many different industries are getting fed up and going to court or the press with pretty extreme cases of the gender wage gap. Some notable instances are actress Michelle Williams who was paid 12k while her male costar with the same number of lines (who needed tons of re-shoots) was paid 1.5 million. Nike had four women file a class-action lawsuit together over systematic pay discrimination and the company’s inaction against widespread sexual harassment. Google also had a walkout of ALL of their female employees over wage discrimination. The tech industry, Hollywood, etc might get a lot of press about all of their cases of discrimination. But it’s important to remember, this happens all across America to women in vastly different scenarios.
Also – there are loop holes. Some of the language in the legislation leaves room for interpretation and therefore, manipulation. We have seen cases where language has been maneuvered to justify pay increases for men. The legislation states that increased pay is justified in cases of “seniority, merit, and quantity or quality of production.” This language is vague and leaves room for a company to simply change the title of one job to another and get away with paying the woman less.
WHERE DO THINGS STAND NOW?
Despite the fact that “equal pay for equal work” is incredibly simple & reasonable, (oh, and it’s THE LAW) some men are still struggling with the concept. How do we know this? Oh, because women across all industries are still experiencing pay discrimination based on their gender. Black and Latina women face even lower rates when compared to men as a whole.
Historical stats:
- 1960: women earned 59 cents on the dollar
- 2011: women earned 77 cents on the dollar
As of 2016:
- Women overall earn 80 cents to the dollar of a man
- Black women earn 63 cents to the dollar of a man
- Hispanic women earn 54 cents to the dollar of a man
Another funny yet horrible fact? Women who have children end up experiencing a pay DECREASE while men often experience a pay INCREASE after becoming a father. What tha what?! This is jokingly referred to as the “fatherhood bonus.”
COMMON MYTHS, BUSTED!
- Men are more educated than women.
This is in fact, the opposite of what is true. Women are much more educated than men on average. What’s sad though, it if you compare men and women with the same amount of education, the pay gap is even LARGER.
- Women don’t know how to negotiate.
It is true that women are less likely to ask for a pay increase or a higher starting salary. But if they do, women are much more likely to experience workplace discrimination in being viewed unfavorably (often being labeled “high maintenance,” “demanding,”) and are often penalized rather than achieving the higher salary they seek. We do not see negotiating combating gender bias.
- Men pursue higher paying jobs.
While traditionally female fields might pay less (chicken or an egg with that one though!), upon entering more male dominated fields, we saw overall pay drop significantly! When women started designing, the pay dropped by 34%. When women became biologists, pay dropped 18%.
- It’s “just” 20 cents. It hardly makes a difference!
20 cents to the dollar for full-time employees in the U.S. comes out to be on average about $10,000 per year. That amount can make a huge difference in someone’s life, especially someone starting out!
NOTE WORTHY:
On top of all this, women also face much more harassment (sexual and otherwise) in the workplace comparatively with men. That’s something that routinely holds women back as it’s tough to concentrate when you are busy warding off unwanted advances… Or worrying about what refusing said advances will do for your career.
I wanted to write this post to shed some light on what might be going on for your sisters, mothers, friends, and girlfriends. They might be struggling with this and not speaking up about it. I have only worked in female dominated industries and now for myself so I have never faced a gendered workplace. So I can’t even imagine how intimidating it would be to be up against the patriarchy on the daily. Hang in there ladies & we will all keep fighting for what’s fair.
Please watch the video below where Michelle Williams talks about her pretty extreme instance of wage discrimination.
xx
Antigone