Hey Guys,
So I know you’ve been warned by EVERYone from your mom to your accountant… Buying a house is no walk in the park. But let me tell you firsthand, it’s psycho stressful. Basically it requires you to go MIA on your whole life. Especially if you fall in love with one neighborhood the way we did…
So Deven and I had every intention of moving east. That was our plan [ or maybe I should say MY plan ] when I moved in. I really missed crisp falls, dense culture, and all my east coast girl friends.
So what changed? Well a lot of things.
Although I still daydream about wandering around the monuments or downtown Manhattan, and I still miss having a buzzing city all around me…
Deven and I are entering a really pivotal time of our lives. We want to get married and have kids soon. This is of a top priority to us but ON TOP of all that, and even more immediate, we are both starting new projects. This blog is what makes me tick… I wake up so happy to work on it. And with the cost of living in NYC/DC there is no way we could afford to buy a house and have me working part time. I would need to go back to work full time and sacrifice hours with the blog, with Deven, Rhett, and with my family. Deven’s project/ side hustle is commercial real estate and here he has so many resources! He knows experts who can help guide and mentor him, real estate is cheaper and thus, he could invest in more of it, etc. Basically, there was little to no way to make both of our dreams work in a city where the cost of living is almost double what it is here.
Beyond that, there was the petition.
For those who did not know, I created a petition online [ change.org, took all of 5 minutes, I def do not deserve a medal ] that went viral about an elementary school in my home town. Oklahoma is a very conservative place. I probably don’t have to tell you that. And change can be hard here. I got death threats, people harassing me from every angle imaginable, and I was legitimately afraid for my safety at times. But I also got numerous people who thanked me profusely for standing up and making change… Even one of my high school teachers who will remain anonymous, told me this was something he has always wanted to champion but “did not have the courage.” I was forever changed by this small action and it hit me: my state is poor, education here is crumbing, health issues are rampant… And yet all of the activists are collected in droves in NYC/DC or San Fran… But none are here in the heartland where change really NEEDS to be made. In that epiphany moment, I thought of Mother Teresa’s response to the question “how can we work towards world peace?” … She said: “Go home and love your family.” And that is a big part of why I want to stay here. Oklahoma is my home. It’s where my family is. The best way for me to help make the world a better place is to help people right here at home. To make change right here where it’s needed most.
I can’t wait to get started and have already made some big moves.
But the last item that really put it over the top for me, was a job offer. Not one I applied to, one that fell in my lap. After the petition, a group that had been wanting to start an Oklahoma diversity council approached me to help work with them. They said starting the petition took balls but withstanding the mounting criticism took strength. I said I had certainly endured worse and was glad these people directed their hatred towards me, rather than people of color who have endured unjustified hatred for too long already. We started conversations with different nation-wide groups (I can’t specify right now because it’s still in the works!) and our project is starting to gain traction now.
Now I know what you’re thinking. A little white girl helping to start a “diversity council”? Why are you diverse, Antigone?
Well, we define “diverse” as “all the ways in which we are different.” You can think: religion, race, gender, sexual orientation, handicaps, and so on. I am a young woman living with Gastroparesis which means, I will probably never again hold a 9-5 job. That’s a tough obstacle. I am also a woman. In the professional world that can be a major obstacle. Additionally, I am Catholic. While Catholics do not face severe discrimination in the US today, the KKK burned down my family’s restaurant (our sole livelihood) when we first immigrated because of our faith. That family history helps me to relate to others who ARE facing religious discrimination today. All of this gives me perspective. Things like the petition, show a commitment to helping others and improving our community… Progressing inclusivity.
On top of all of this, I have realized how important it is for me to be a lawyer. If I am going to continue this blog with a goal to help educate young women about our government, I should know about the law! If I am going to help fight intrinsic social injustice, I need to know about the law! The more I work towards my goals, the more I am seeing a clear path forward for my career.
So, back to the topic at hand… In light of all these realizations, Deven and I have decided to put down roots right here in Oklahoma. With a view of the capitol building, our little home will hold some very key years, help us grow, and will DEFINITELY be well-loved as long as we live there.
xx
Antigone